KRISHNA - Lover, fighter, poet and Hindu hero

KRISHNA - Lover, fighter, poet and Hindu hero

The dashing, daring blue-skinned hero who drove women wild and demons to despair. KRISHNA is not just a Top Hindu God, he's practically a superhero. But he had to work for it. Most of his formative years were spent avoiding death at the hands of jealous nasties. His uncle KAMSA was a tyrannical Demon King. Uncle Kam was quite happy ruling ruthlessly until one day he received some bad news. A mysterious voice informed him that his half-sister DEVAKI would give birth to a demon-destroying hero - and now might be a good time to reconsider his life insurance policy.

VISHNU changes the baby

KAMSA was furious and hit on the amazingly original plan of killing all his nephews. But the cunning VISHNU saved the day by transferring KRISHNA and his twin BALARAMA to a womb with a view in a quieter neighbourhood. Sweet little Godlet DEVA was substitued in their place. Wicked KAMSA would have killed her instead but the Gods whisked her away to heaven. Once KRISHNA was safely born, his troubles really began. A succession of baby-killing demons tried their best to dispatch him. One of these, PUTANA, sneaked a job as a wet nurse. She dabbed poison on her nipples, but greedy KRISHNA sucked so hard he sucked her inside out. He had a heroic digestive system.

Countryside Krishna

Once grown up, KRISHNA and his womb-mate BALARAMA parted company. BALARAMA, who was not nearly so heroic as his dark-skinned brother, became the God of Farming and spent the rest of his life plowing fields and hitting people. Meanwhile, KRISHNA went to chase girls in the countryside. This suited him down to the ground. And then KRISHNA found himself with 16,000 girlfriends. This was not entirely due to his good looks and charm; he came to the rescue of the lovely maidens and was forced to marry them all to prevent moral complications. This idyllic lifestyle was cut short when it was revealed that he was really the eighth incarnation of VISHNU and was therefore supposed to be doing important Godly work instead of marrying everyone. So KRISHNA left to start a new career as demon destroyer and hero. Pausing only to kiss goodbye to his 16,000 wives.

Superstar of Hindu Hollywood

Many tales have been told of KRISHNA's amazing adventures. How he rescued RUKMINI from a devilish marriage. How he feuded with the villainous SISUPULA. How he grappled with fate and dodged death the way some people dodge the tax collector. How his bones ended up in JUGGERNAUT, the God of Heavy Goods Vehicles. But you get the picture.

KRISHNA is truly a SuperGod. He's clever, sexy, cunning, and blessed with outrageous good fortune. In the Hollywood of Heaven, he is a rich and famous celebrity. The star of epic philosophical action-adventure Mahabharata and creator of the sublime poem Bhagavad-Gita, his name is revered all over the world.

But we still don't believe his first name is Harry.